Breakfast for Zombies

What do zombies drink with their breakfast? Coffinated beverages.

The sound of one cat falling...

What sound is produced when a cat falls off a piece of furniture? Cathunk

Pigs in fantasyland

What do you call it when a pig and an elf have names that sound the same?






A hamognome.

Pigs and words

Yes, when two pigs oink the same way but mean different things...

it's a hamonym.

An ill-tempered pun

What do you call a grump with an Afro?

A curlymudgeon.

Snakes and silverware

What is the difference between a talking snake and a talking licked-off piece of silverware?

One speaks with a forked tongue and the other speaks with a tongued fork.

Nuts

It's now possible to get delivery of nuts (roasted, salted, not, etc) to your home. But you must have a doorbell to use the service.

Almond guy ding.